These are my personal ramblings on life through the lens of my multiracial/multicultural worldview... and probably other stuff too...



Friday, December 17, 2010

What Is You?

So, that is an actual question that someone asked me once.  "A human being," I tartly answered.  But I knew what he meant.  I just didn't feel like dealing with it at that particular moment.  And if you are mixed, like me, then you probably know exactly what I mean.  My mom is Korean and my dad is Black - a good ol military mix.  I managed to get through a good part of my early youth without it being an issue.  It may have been around 4th grade or so before I really recall realizing that I was somehow different.  But not in a negative way - it was just something that I noticed.  The negativity came around 9th grade.  Up until then we had primarily lived overseas on military bases.  Small town Wisconsin gave me a new perspective on race.  It was the first time I recalled hearing the n-word. 

It was also around the same time that I felt confused about marking 'black' when demographic information was requested.  I wasn't just black after all - I was korean too.  My mother saved me from further distress on that one.  She sat me down and affirmed that yes, I was also korean.  But, other people would look at me and see black and that is how I would be treated.  No one would ever look at me and think that I was korean.  Crisis resolved.  Yay mom.  But I was forever changed in how I looked at race, ethnicity, culture and diversity.  It was a good change; it brought a level of awareness of the good, the bad and the ugly.  But, it also brought with it a profound appreciation for our differences and how then can enrich our lives. 

I do identify as a black woman.  I also love and celebrate my korean heritage.  I think that I am lucky, though.  Because I know that so many others who are mixed do not have this solidarity and conviction in their bi/multiracial identity.  There are times that have been interesting for me.  For example, the LA riots.  I had to defend the koreans to the blacks and the blacks to the koreans.  And then there are the times when I have had to deal with 'not being black enough.'  But all in all, I am thankful to say that I am relatively unscathed and embrace my identity.  So, I refer back to my answer to the question: I am human.  I am a human being living and loving a diverse experience and benefiting from all that comes with it.  And work on your grammar, boo.

6 comments:

  1. I am a friend of Chris' and glad you have started this blog. I too am a woman of color...many colors, shades, etc. My grandmother always said we were "mixicans" since we have been mixed far before she was even born. I still get the questions, "what are you? where are you from? do you speak spanish?" My answers are similar to yours, I am human, I am from Long Branch, NJ, and no habla espanol. I suppose they are hoping for a more exotic answer to explain my hair, fair skin, sassy attitude, and other physical attributes. There honestly isn't an explanation since there are so many differences in every nationality and ethnicity. There seems to always be light and dark Indians, Puerto Ricans, Italians, etc. My children have noticed that there are white people and black people in the world and have said they we are white. Of course I had to break it down that there are shades of blacks and browns and we fall on the lighter side of the spectrum "), but proud to say that we are African American and above all children of God.

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  2. @ Paula: thanks so much for your insightful comment! I love your last comment that "above all children of God." Amen to that! And "mixicans" is a first for me - I love it! I think your grandmother was on to something. I think we are moving to a world that will be so full of mixicans someday that people might be a little hard-pressed to have race issues... or maybe that is just wishful thinking on my part. But we'll keep the dialogue going and enforce our presence to continue to make the point! Happy holidays to you and your family!

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  3. Look at you, R., being so talented and caring to blog about your heritage. I "got into" genealogy in a big way a few years ago and discovered so many things about my ancestors...some (maybe) native Americans but hard to prove, some really, really poor, white dirt farmers of the rural South in the depression, a history of deaf mutes in the early 1800's that attended the first school in America for deaf mutes, the discovery of an African American family with the unusual spelling of our last name...it made me realize that we are probably all a mixture of many peoples and races...and it has made me very proud to be made up of all these people who must have had backs of steel and perseverance galore to just make it through each day. Is that why I am so persistent and stubborn? Maybe it is in the genes :)Keep on writing....hugs, AM

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  4. @ AM: wow, that is awesome! I have always wanted to do something like that. It must be quite an experience to learn about your history. And I think you are right - I believe we are all much more connected than we believe. Thank you so much for joining me here and contributing your experience. We are all going to learn from each other! Happy Holidays!

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  5. I didn't even know that you blogged but I am so glad that you are and I am glad that you are sharing your experiences. I too, have heard the...what are you question. In fact, I remember a bunch of kids in early high school talking about "white" kids and plainly saying to me, "well, you aren't one of them." As I have gotten older I have had many more strange experiences when it comes to my nationality. I was adopted and I am 1/2 middle eastern. White people often say I am not white and what is even stranger is that I have gotten some really charged comments and looks from middle eastern people wanting to "claim" me and being irritated by my lack of affiliation with the culture. I was not raised in a middle eastern culture. I now have a beautiful daughter who happens to be Puerto Rican, Hispanic. She is beautiful, she will know her Hispanic culture and she will be damn proud of it. The only thing that matters to my family is just that we are family, a human family. :) All shades of us.

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  6. @ kathleen: thank you so much for sharing! I love your unique perspective on the highbred (hybrid) family. It must be such a strange experience to encounter individuals who want to put you into a box that you don't belong in. But you are right - what matters is your family and how you define yourselves as a family. Your children are so beautiful and they have been blessed with a mother and father who love them and will teach them to value the beauty of diversity in all its forms. I love you and wish many blessings to you and your family!

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